Battle of The Sexes:Facebook Edition

Never has a claim been as accurate as John Gray’s book, “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus.” The way we walk, act, think, drink, eat and even communicate with each other is vastly different. The phenomenon began in the Garden of Eden, continued to the playground, went on the work place and now is most prevalent on a little site I like to call Facebook. Just a simple peruse of your Facebook newsfeed can make you Einstein in the world Gender Studies. But since your ample amount of stalking leaves no time for this kind of extensive research we have done it for you! Did you know that women have double the looks, uploads and tags than men on Facebook? Check out our infographic about it here!Also not as surprising, both guys and girls also both prefer photos with girls. So what’s the deal? I have decided to delve deeper and do a Sherlock- Holmes esque investigation on what really distinguishes the girls from the boys on Facebook.

Usage
The basic premise of why we both use Facebook is clear: communication. And by communication I am obviously referring to stalking. No matter if you are a man or a woman, you will always need your daily dose of the book. However, the difference here is in what you are looking at.

Boys AKA “Surface Stalkers” : Although they will never admit it, boys love the pictures just as much as the girls. However, their usage does not extend past the point of,”Hey, did you see how hot this girl is?” or “Wow, I look great there, prof pic worthy”.

Girls AKA “Deep Sea Stalkers”: Girls love the surface, but their stalking extends far,far,FAR past this point. They notice the nuances in everything:wall posts, pictures and the riskiest form of communication: messages. While they do look at other girls pictures commenting on everything from their pose (“Ugh so jealous of her skinny arm”) clothing (“OMG, did she really wear that out”) and smile (“Wow, her teeth to gum ratio sucks”), boys are definitely more their speed. So guys next time you think about friending an ex- girlfriend, posting a smiley face on a crush’s wall, or putting us in one of your profile pictures (the highest honor) just know that we will be looking back at that screen and over evaluating your every move.

Pictures
Your profile picture and now cover photo (thank you timeline) is equally if not as important as your friends to tagged pictures ratio (crucial that you keep this 1:100). It can say a lot about you. Your personality, how fun you are, how friendly you are and most importantly how ridiculously good looking you are. We all know the feeling of satisfaction when you see a good picture and you know its THE one.

Men: Usually aim for the solo shirtless shot, a shot of them partying with babes, a classic picture with all the bros or occasionally a picture of their favorite male sports idol. They don’t change their pictures often, but when they do they deliberate over their stance, girl-to guy ratio, and facial expression for a LONG time.

Women: Usually pick a pretty picture of their friend group, a solo dancing shot,or the typical bikini summer look. Unlike guys,girls profile pictures are as unpredictable and ever-changing as our emotions.One day it can be a romantic picture of her and her boyfriend in Paris and the next day post- break up it will table a shot of her dancing on a table. We are sorry we aren’t sorry?

Posts
The actual material you post on Facebook is extremely important. Every friend group has its different personalities; the funny one, the private joker, the youtube legend, the sports buff, the tumblr fan and the book worm.

Boys: Really take advantage of the wall. Their favorite posts deal with sports games (“Haters gonna hate..Heat Champions!”), old school rap music videos (“Nelly killleed it back in the day”) and their favorite, overused movie quotes (“Rule #71: No excuses. Play like a champion!”).

Girls: Use their wall as a way to show how “cultured” they are. Current events (“Kimye anyone?”), classic entertainment (“OMG Arie must win”), private jokes (“LOL city”), favorite foods (“Dying.We need this now”) and our most recent favorite past time #pinning.No matter your gender, there is a perfect wall post out there for everyone.

There you have it, the mystery has been unraveled. So next time you are on the Facebook prowl just remember, the addiction is mutual my friends.

DISCLAIMER: This article is mainly referring to single men and women. It seems once you get married, your Facebook wisdom increases significantly.  Please show us your ways.