Ah the Facebook photo experience, after all it is where most of our time goes. While there is the occasional album you browse hoping to leave no trace of your presence, every once in a while a comment is indeed in order. Whether it is a friend’s new profile picture, or a picture too ridiculous, too funny, or too adorable to leave without acknowledgement – here’s your guide on figuring out how to leave your mark:
1. The Cute Picture You’re In: This almost always solicits a response along the lines of “so cute! I <3 you!” or “that was such a fun night!” – essentially anything that makes it clear that you and your BFFL had ridiculous amounts of fun that night, and everyone else should be ‘mad jeals.’
2. The Cute Picture You’re Not In: Typically this requires a “aw you two look great” or “so cute! Hope it was a fun night, we will definitely have to meet up sometime!” Also translated into either “I probably still had more fun than you” or “why wasn’t I invited?”
3. The Picture You Took: From the simple “photo creds” to the slightly more daring “wow, great picture. The photographer must be so talented and good looking,” this comment almost always demands acknowledgement. Often a banner ad for “Whatever, you probably didn’t pick a picture with me because I made you look bad.”
4. Funny Picture: This picture is the perfect venue to demonstrate to the entire facebook community how clever and witty you are. Whether you’re referencing another golden moment, or commenting on how it’s the best they ever looked, this picture is a commenter’s moment to shine.
5. The Picture You Were Cropped Out Of: Once you get past the initial insult (how could they!?) it’s time to seek revenge with a caustic comments like “well you cut out the only good part of this picture,” or worse “Good choice, I looked better than you anyway.” Rough.
6. The Picture Of Your Boyfriend/Girlfriend: “you look great!” “wow you’re beautiful” “gorgeous, as always.” There are no other comments. I don’t care if they look like they haven’t slept in a week and there’s an entire plate of spinach stuck in their teeth – don’t risk it.
7. The Nostalgic Picture: This is the comment you post on a picture that everyone else commented on at least six months ago. Typically, this comment is just blatant proof that you’ve been doing some facebook stalking.
8. The Conversation Comment: It’s the conversation that probably shouldn’t even be on a facebook wall, but definitey should not be on a picture. For future reference a picture is not the proper place to ask “do you want to hang out later today?”
9. The Backhanded Comment: This is the one that seems nice the first time you read it, and then you realize – it’s really not. It’s the comment that says “Great angle!” or “Wow, this picture makes you look great,” it’s the comment version of saying you don’t normally look like this, clearly this picture is false advertisement.
10. The Unflattering Picture Of You: It’s only funny when it’s someone else. Untag and pretend it doesn’t exist. The more you comment the more it shows up on news feeds.
Picture comments are key to the photo experience, whatever message they’re sending. But for those of us too lazy to come up with witticisms, there’s always the like button.